Screaming silence

Can somebody really carry a lifetime of sadness in their souls and keep quiet still? How come everyone thinks that they do not fit in anywhere, yet, refuse to speak to eachother?


I guess I am in just one of those melancholic, suicidal pseudo-suicidal phase, if there is phase like this. But how long can this phase last...it seems like an eternity.

It seems an eternity when i bought something new to wear or even went for a pedicure or even painted my nails.
 Cobwebs in the eyes, dust inside the ears and mouth choked up with words that won't come out...ugh...everything was so much simpler when i was young. And during that time i wanted to grow up real fast, ironic.

If death is so beautiful...why is being alive so ugly?

Hitch your wagon to a STAR

i believe that a pair of chuck taylors can really really pep up my 'un'photogenic outfit or face.

It is hard to believe that they are over 75 years old and there has been no change in the design ...barring the inclusion of a few colours. Seriously, during school days whenever i see the emo or punk girls posing in their chucks... it makes me smile.
All Stars are just so cute. And are just so comfortable that i can live in them.

i tried posing in mine too...the historic black ones are my all time favourites. Oh yea... the yellow sunglasses are a RayBan Wayfarers imitation picked up from a thrift shop. i haven't had an opportunity to wear them outside though. They are pretty shocking, i guess.

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Knife in the back...amnesia 101?

Ex- bff...sometimes i wonder how many of these are there in my life. I want to slip into some kind of amnesia that can help me get rid of the real Jennys in my life...not that i am a Blair or Serena, but still my demode existence does have a few Jennys.

My 'Jenny'...
i miss her and the fun we used to have. But she has stabbed me real bad and too..deep. Because of her my favourite thrift shop is like a forbidden territory...i think about the awesome clothes we picked up from there, but the thought to go there without her makes me suicidal.
The perfect amnesia for the 'Jenny' in my life...
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i am not quite fond of Paris...after i read about the whole animal abuse thing. But then, she is a girl with an ex-bff and i know exactly how that feels.


This is the look for today...RiRi's net hair bow in What's my name? It did not come out that well...now that Bff is not there to click my pictures for this blog. Ouch...it hurts...i guess....

Judas kissed and bandage for the heart.

This month brought me harrowing placements drama and a lot of heartbreak.
i was selected for one of the popularly read English newspaper's interview. i thought i did pretty okay...by my standards, i guess.
i did not get through.

you don't really want something until its gone.
What hurt the most... was the fact that my faith in the Azn pryde. Asian Pride got shattered big time. You cannot call it communal favours but still... aren't all Asians supposed to stick together? i don't know......raining in my utopia, again, i guess. i am hurt.

The last thing i need are sleepless nights and a heartbreak that gnaws you from inside, but i guess that is where i am headed. In fact, i may have been there for so long, i just did not realise it...and maybe, i am supposed to be there just a little bit longer.

Okay so it is back to black and ...say, don't these flower buds look so pretty?
Anyway, misery needs company...but it seems i have too many. Just cannot wait to get out of this emo phase...

Sayonara