i sing the National Anthem
while i'm standing over your body,
hold you like a python
- Lana Del Rey, National Anthem
It is that time of the year again...its D's birthday.
26th January is actually supposed to be my country's Republic Day but for me it is special cuz of an entirely different reason. D came into my life this day and yea...changed me for better or worse...but he made the change, that's what counts. He was with me when i entered this world, but i lost him when i found my teens. And suddenly, at thirteen i learnt that sometimes people may never return once they leave...no matter how hard you try.
And there's no remedy for your memory
your face is like a melody, it won't leave my head
your soul is haunting me and telling me
that everything is fine
But i wish i was dead
- Lana Del Rey, Dark Paradise
i thought i would do something special in his memory or go into spasmodic crying fits when D died but i didn't. i was peaceful and calm though my thoughts were ripping my heart into pieces.
On the hindsight, i should have done something...anything and then maybe, i would be so calm today about how he left this world.
But i didn't
So yea, in a nutshell, i am still a mess even though it has been 10 years since that cold morning when i stopped believing in the man in the clouds. But this year is different... i intend to stop...Stop feeling the need to whistle out to him or nuzzle in his soft neck and soak his fur with my hot tears while he just stands still and then we would go for a walk in the chilly mountain rain.
But i don't know how
i don't expect anyone to understand how much i miss D everyday...Akemi be crazy, but her love is pure.
Sayonara
while i'm standing over your body,
hold you like a python
- Lana Del Rey, National Anthem
It is that time of the year again...its D's birthday.
26th January is actually supposed to be my country's Republic Day but for me it is special cuz of an entirely different reason. D came into my life this day and yea...changed me for better or worse...but he made the change, that's what counts. He was with me when i entered this world, but i lost him when i found my teens. And suddenly, at thirteen i learnt that sometimes people may never return once they leave...no matter how hard you try.
And there's no remedy for your memory
your face is like a melody, it won't leave my head
your soul is haunting me and telling me
that everything is fine
But i wish i was dead
- Lana Del Rey, Dark Paradise
i thought i would do something special in his memory or go into spasmodic crying fits when D died but i didn't. i was peaceful and calm though my thoughts were ripping my heart into pieces.
On the hindsight, i should have done something...anything and then maybe, i would be so calm today about how he left this world.
But i didn't
So yea, in a nutshell, i am still a mess even though it has been 10 years since that cold morning when i stopped believing in the man in the clouds. But this year is different... i intend to stop...Stop feeling the need to whistle out to him or nuzzle in his soft neck and soak his fur with my hot tears while he just stands still and then we would go for a walk in the chilly mountain rain.
But i don't know how
i don't expect anyone to understand how much i miss D everyday...Akemi be crazy, but her love is pure.
Sayonara
