Almost lovers

Now..is all about going back to the basics. Delving so much into my thoughts that i return to where i come from.
No, not going home. But i want to introspect so much that i go back to that XX chromosome stage. Well, not really but you get the drift.

i recently went for a whirlwind trip to Rishikesh with an old acquaintance and two strangers. It was beautiful. i know, most of the people don't really think of this place as the ideal getaway. But trust me, i found such unexplored beauties and amazingly cheap places to stay and eat that i think Rishikesh may as well be my go-to getaway place.

But.....
i kept thinking about X. Like the way he held my hand while we walked, the way we stared at the hillocks and some really funny memories. It was nice. He is happy now, so i don't want to rush in like wrecking ball into his life, but i am glad to have shared those happy memories with him. He deserves much better...i wouldn't make a good lover for anyone. i can definitely be nice to him, though. 
On that note, M and i have called quits on our arrangement. i took a long time to realise that we are clearly not what we were before and we certainly can't end up together happily. One of us or even both are bound to be miserable. i can definitely break all ties with him, finally. He has really sucked dry this relationship of whatever emotion was left and since i refused to be tied down by bitterness, i can only let go.

So, going back to basics.
i think this trip opened me up a lot...putting me in touch with myself...a re-introduction of sorts. Life is too short to be spent moping and also...longing for love. Cuz it will happen when it has to...and it surely won't be in the form or type you expected. You need to realise when it hits you in the face and decide if this is the love you want to settle for. As per my introspection, love happens many times and sometimes you can make the mistake of falling for the same person again and again. 
i fell in love so many times during this trip...on the banks of Ganges, i fell in love with nature and then while hiking i fell in love with this cute dog who just wouldn't let me go.

Sayonara

*_*

From long ago

Have settled into my new house. Expenses have sky rocketed...literally. i fear that at this rate my expenditures may just go so high so as to find a new galaxy. 

So i gotta promotion and am a senior reporter now...the salary hiked by a trickle. Anyhoo, despite the adult-ish issues of handling my finances..i feel like i am in a very good space mentally. There have been some rumours floating around that our office may shift to Noida or Gurgaon. Great! Just great, considering that i recently shifted :/

i had a tarot card reading sesh with a seemingly 'all-knowing' pretty lady. She scared me senseless when she said that my job was never right for me from Day 1. Hmmm...so that means my gut feeling about Mother Shark at work hating my guts the minute she set eyes on me may not be entirely unfounded! She said something about X too...and considering how things panned out between us. She wasn't wrong. 

When i see you again
And i'm greeted as a friend
It is understood
That we did all we could
- Sunset, The XX

i think all the ti me in technicolour. From sewing curtains to splattering paint on my jeans, weird ideas keep circulating inside my head. So much so, i chopped my horribly undisciplined curls into a tight bob and i just let them be. A mop of curls, a la Medusa. i guess i have to keep busy with my weirdness till M returns. The fact that i will only be able to see him next month hasn't quite hit me. i am content with the occasional calls whenever he gets network in the sea.

UPDATE

My kitten has run away/ gotten lost (i am not sure since she acts so self-sufficient like she doesn't need me though her occasional licks and cuddling send me over the moon*_*)