When i said 'I Do', i didn't mean the dishes

Cooking is like love. It should be entered with abandon or not at all.
- Harriet Von Horne


No time for outfit posts. Hell, i will be lucky if i could put together an outfit to wear to work. Its days like these that make you want to just do-your-thang in clothes you hope nobody would recognise you in. Fashion is far away from my mind. 
Early morning shift for the past week and i am  working this weekend. i am so getting some designer bags under my eyes soon *sob*sob*
During breaks, all i can do is drool over fantastical couture food and then when i am back home, i order some pork dimsums for dinner and then go to sleep. So boring, nein? 
Check out my fantasy couture food dreams

Louis Vuitton cupcakes (Source: here)

                   

Gucci French fries (Source: here)

Paul Smith ice-cream twirl and Burberry bagel (Source: here)

Ditta in her kitchen (Source: here)

Anyway last night after i found a hair in my dimsum (YUCK!), i decided to learn to feed myself. For good. Also, because i have been skipping my medication to be taken strictly after  meals, since they are so erratic and sometimes consist of just a beer and chips. 

So i donned my cat printed apron and the mission was to cook salted fried rice, with stir fried mushrooms and a slice of ham (they all taste yummy together. FTW). The only glitch was that this realisation dawned on me at 1am and only because i was inspired after  watching Nigella Lawson cook awesome stuff while looking awesomely buxom and speaking in that awesome Brit accent. It is amazing how she does it, you know, cook and look so good at the same time. And then there is my idol, Ditta Von Teese, so immaculately pretty all the time. Even while cooking (Her pink themed kitchen is so 'Totes amaze', you know what i mean).

*Sigh*  If i had such a pretty kitchen, imagine the 'couture goodies' i would happily make. And nothing smells better than the smell of a freshly baked cake, though Karl Lagerfeld would have you believe otherwise with his perfume that smells like books, not that that is a bad smell. Anyhoo, the mission was a semi-success because i added too much water to the rice and burnt the mushrooms. But feck it, it was yummy, anyway.

The cook that won't be kissed anytime soon.

Sayonara
*__*

Who will i be when i am with you again?

If you don't eat yourself
No doubt the pain will
If you don't eat yourself
You will explode instead...
- Eat yourself, Goldfrapp

Is there a time when you magically grow up?
Like when you don't feel the need to cry anymore...words, insults and betrayals just bounce off you and you just stand expressionless.
If there is, where is my titanium age?


Does it happen, like, you have controlled the throbbing pain in your chest or you wake up one day when living doesn't seem so bad... but then, you look up. Raindrops on the window or a dog licking your hand or a friendly smile, and you crumble. The verge of bursting into tears at the most inopportune moment, place and time does not cease. The worst part? The reason is always the same. There does not seem to be a way out of this misery.


i am sick of being sick and i am sick of this vicious circle of abuse, secrecy and... hugs. If this planet is God's sepulchre, i don't see how this misery is his will.
How can this be your will, the man in the clouds? 


Like a hurricane, you struck my life, destroyed my relationships, my self esteem, my confidence and i constantly felt anxious, depressed and sometimes abnormally insane, a psycho. 
This city is beautiful...


The night is the hardest time to be alive and 4am knows all my secrets.
- Poppy Z Brite


Yet, the noise is so overwhelming that i seem to have forgotten what silence, other than mine, meant. i wait for the legendary 4am, for some torture and reflection, but cats fighting or an accident nearby or a couple falling out of love, the noise never ceases. 
So, i plug in my ear phones, and make my own Tomorrowland, where M exists in my life, where there is no endless wait for a phone call that might end my life, no nightmares and no memories of losing something... there is just nothing. And i think i am happy, then. 


Andy Warhol: I wonder if people are going to remember us? 
Edie Sedgwick: What, when we're dead? 
Andy Warhol: Yeah. 
Edie Sedgwick: Well I think people will talk about how you changed the world. 
Andy Warhol: I wonder what they'll say about you... in your obituary. I like that word. 
Edie Sedgwick: Nothing nice, I don't think. 
Andy Warhol: No no, come on. They'd say, "Edith Minturn Sedgwick: beautiful artist and actress... 
Edie Sedgwick: ...and all around loon. 
Andy Warhol: ...Remembered for setting the world on fire... 
Edie Sedgwick: ...and escaping the clutches of her terrifying family... 
Andy Warhol: ...Made friends with eeeeverybody, and anybody... 
Edie Sedgwick: ...creating chaos and uproar wherever she went. Divorced as many times as she married, she leaves only good wishes behind. 
- Excerpt from Factory Girl (2006)


i love this song, its the theme song for my Tomorrowland. 

Sayonara 
*__*

Old young girl

Edward Scissorhands

You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards it did. And if he weren't up there now...i don't think it would be snowing.
Sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it.
- Edward Scissorhands
   
Perks of the new job are the benefactor of this simian line running through my side shave patch. We were given some cash to go review a swanky spa, get a free haircut and a pedicure. Could this be my dream job?
As you can see, the simian line...me gusta. And the pedicure? i was coerced into getting my nails painted in another Barbie colour, more peach this time. Seriously, these spa guys should stop ganging up like this. 

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't, change the way you think about it. 
- Mary Engelbreit

My tiny room doesn't seem so bad. And the other girls are also surprisingly nice. My lack of culinary skills has shocked them, so they have cordially invited me to learn something by watching them cook. i am the official potato peeler now, FTW!
Anyway, the Akemi blog has been given a makeover. Now, the background is the ice dance by Edward and Kim, from my favourite Burton flick, Edward Scissorhands, and many other changes may follow.
Just growing with my blog, which is already a year older... and hopefully wiser. i watched this movie, when i was twelve and since then, i have seen it a million times. Never bored.
As i grow older, i am getting more closer to my childhood memories. A few days ago, i went into a massive crying spree because memories of my dead dog came rushing back and knocked me into an emotional coma.
It is strange...is it a sign?





Sayonara
*__*

Method in madness

Though this be madness, yet there is method in it.

- William Shakespeare, Hamlet  

These are sad days indeed, very very sad days.

So, Hedi Slimane killed the Yvves out of YSL and I killed my dream to have something screaming out the initials YSL (no, my knock off track pants from Bangkok with a VSL sprawled across the booty does not count). Somehow, SL doesn’t quite cut it, you know. YSL, much better, see?

And Betsey Johnson is filing for bankruptcy. She was is my dream designer, it was my life aim to own something from Betsey’s collection and now, it is all ending, the era is coming to an end. Ugh! Nemesis, I hate you.

On the good side, all the items from Betsey’s collections are being sold…in a clearance sale! I managed to snag me a pair of her ‘rare’ (that’s what it says) panda bear rhinestone earrings.

Betsey I gotta piece of you. RESPECT.

Okay cutting out the cheese in my mood. I am in the Capital again, this time for good.
Finding a house here is more difficult than finding the proverbial needle in the haystack. It is possible to find the needle eventually, after you throw or eat the hay, but the house, hah!

A barbie pedicure. And yes, i have ugly feet.

If it is not the sky rocketing prices or the fact that I am a GIRL (and therefore, requiring more love, care and protection (ka ching!), it is the crazy landlords. Mom and I actually ran from a knife wielding crazy lady, screaming from her terrace. Her face, I shall never forget. Those crazy eyes, just out of a Poe short story *shudder* 

God has given you one face, you make yourself another

- William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Anyway, so now I am shacking up with some girls I know I can never be friends with, though basic courtesy and manners might be possible. Anyhow, I foresee days of being cooped in my tiny room and escaping boredom by inane self-administered beauty treatments, though not as inane as Tom Cruise's bird shit facial mainly because it is to hot too go scrape bird poop from my window sill.

Sayonara

*__*