Say hi to no answers

A crossed out line in her suicide note read:
He is much better off without me... I wouldn't make a good wife for anybody 

Have you heard of the 'beautiful suicide'? Well the above picture was named so in the Life magazine in 1947...it is a photo of Evelyn Mchale who jumped to die from the Empire State building, landed on a limousine and was clicked by Robert Wiles. She was still clutching her pearl necklace in her gloved hand.
It is supposed to be gruesome and morbid...but maybe its not. Maybe dying is violent...but death is peace? There is a difference between the two. Go figure... 
Evelyn was described by her fiance as being happy and he had seen her off cheerfully before she made her way to the building. So what snapped....?

The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

i am scribbling furiously on my blog cuz i am getting this overwhelming urge to cry and AKEMI MUSTN'T CRY...atleast not right now...
i am not sure if i cannot handle the work pressure or is it the PMS or maybe just because everything is fucked up. Not just me...but everyone around me too and i just can't do anything to take away their pain. 
But is the helplessness enough to just take the plunge? 

For the longest time the picture above was just a part of my fashion scrapbook: the starry dress, fishnets and my insatiable love for bangs. Then a year back, i found out the model was Daul Kim, who killed herself when she was twenty. Some websites say that she didn't commit suicide and her highly influential (and abusive) boyfriend is to blame. But, three years after her death, i still think about her...trying to figure her out in my head. She is such a mystery to me...and if i had a chance to know her...we would surely have been friends.
Daul kept a blog (iliketoforkmyself), felt 'naked' without her bangs, missed home and yea, felt like a 'stripper' sometimes. Her last post was— Say hi to forever. You can check out her blog here. 

"When the witch wanted to come in, she stood down below and called out: Rapunzel Rapunzel, let down your hair for me. When she heard the witch's voice, she undid her braids and fastened them to the window latch. They fell to the ground twenty ells down, and the witch climbed up on them.
- Brother Grimm, 'Rapunzel'

Source: here

After reading about Daul, i came across model Ruslana Korshunova's suicide or murder. Known as the 'Russian Rapunzel,' she jumped to death (or rather leapt as many have pointed out that it would have been impossible to just jump from her balcony) from her NYC apartment. One of her blog entry reads: If i am for others, then who is for me? And if I am for myself, then what am I for?

The language of love letters is the same as suicide notes

- Courtney Love

You can argue back and forth that these women had what is "supposed" to make us happy— Evelyn Mchale was to marry her fiance (happy, by default), Daul Kim seemed poised to become South Korea's answer to a supermodel and had walked the ramp for designers Alexander McQueen (who also committed suicide the same year) and Ruslana Korshunova was touted as 'the face to be excited about' by the British Vogue and was walking ramps for Kenzo, Jill Stuart and others, then why?

The more people expect me to be happy the sadder i get.

RIP

May you find the peace wherever you are, finally.

Sayonara

*__*