 |
| A crossed out line in her suicide note read: |
Have you heard of the 'beautiful suicide'? Well the above picture was named so in the Life magazine in 1947...it is a photo of Evelyn Mchale who jumped to die from the Empire State building, landed on a limousine and was clicked by Robert Wiles. She was still clutching her pearl necklace in her gloved hand.
It is supposed to be gruesome and morbid...but maybe its not. Maybe dying is violent...but death is peace? There is a difference between the two. Go figure...
Evelyn was described by her fiance as being happy and he had seen her off cheerfully before she made her way to the building. So what snapped....?
The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
i am scribbling furiously on my blog cuz i am getting this overwhelming urge to cry and AKEMI MUSTN'T CRY...atleast not right now...
i am not sure if i cannot handle the work pressure or is it the PMS or maybe just because everything is fucked up. Not just me...but everyone around me too and i just can't do anything to take away their pain.
But is the helplessness enough to just take the plunge?
For the longest time the picture above was just a part of my fashion scrapbook: the starry dress, fishnets and my insatiable love for bangs. Then a year back, i found out the model was Daul Kim, who killed herself when she was twenty. Some websites say that she didn't commit suicide and her highly influential (and abusive) boyfriend is to blame. But, three years after her death, i still think about her...trying to figure her out in my head. She is such a mystery to me...and if i had a chance to know her...we would surely have been friends.
Daul kept a blog (iliketoforkmyself), felt 'naked' without her bangs, missed home and yea, felt like a 'stripper' sometimes. Her last post was— Say hi to forever. You can check out her blog here.
"When the witch wanted to come in, she stood down below and called out: Rapunzel Rapunzel, let down your hair for me. When she heard the witch's voice, she undid her braids and fastened them to the window latch. They fell to the ground twenty ells down, and the witch climbed up on them.
- Brother Grimm, 'Rapunzel'
 |
| Source: here |
The language of love letters is the same as suicide notes
- Courtney Love
You can argue back and forth that these women had what is "supposed" to make us happy— Evelyn Mchale was to marry her fiance (happy, by default), Daul Kim seemed poised to become South Korea's answer to a supermodel and had walked the ramp for designers Alexander McQueen (who also committed suicide the same year) and Ruslana Korshunova was touted as 'the face to be excited about' by the British Vogue and was walking ramps for Kenzo, Jill Stuart and others, then why?
The more people expect me to be happy the sadder i get.
RIP
May you find the peace wherever you are, finally.
Sayonara
*__*
Amazing post Akemi. Some have the tendency of melancholy while some have that of joy. Some have the same for both. The right moment, not the justified moment, for suicide is, by personal experience, when one is physically numb. Then there is no fear, except that of the consciousness, which Hamlet has rightly said, makes a coward of us all. Nietzsche is so right. Just listen to him. And trite as it may be, others do not implicitly have the power to affect you unless you empower them yourself. Melancholy brought out this amazing post; think what it can bring out of life.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Think, what if death is like staring in infinite void eternally? Wouldn't you prefer to wait for sometime to find if it's true?
Hi benign stranger, thank you for your comments, up till now i thought i was just screaming in the dark but now, there is a faint echo, i guess. And btw, my reality is just what you said— staring into an infinite void. What difference would it make...
ReplyDeleteYou're correct. What difference would it make? But there is one difference between existence and death: in existence there are hallucinations while in death... only the dead know the state of death. Why not hallucinate for as long as you can; make your existence into a perpetual trip. Death is not worth anything. Death is the ultimate truth. With death ends all pain. You're wrong, it will make a difference. But it's a gamble.
ReplyDelete