No light, no light

"I must get my soul back from you; I am killing my flesh without it."
- Sylvia Plath


Life stops and then it starts again. But the pace is never the same.
Everyone around me is unhappy...others just don't realise it yet, but they are. Happiness just seems to be very fleeting. In a strange city, in a strange mood, i am a stranger. Aren't we all a little strange?

Lay back in my own dream
Playback on a big screen 
You and me together 
Why give up a love found 
Wish that I could write down 
What you mean to me
-Oceanlab

Valentine meal: Strawberries with sweet milk and sausages that M cooked.

Time stopped then. i live from one moment to another. And i feel just one moment in the entire 24 hours. The one when i am home alone at night, smoking a cigarette in the pitch black room with only the thin string of tiny lights hanging on my wall.

Strange's definition: alienated

Saudade, Sehnsucht, Ennui and Soledad

Words in different languages, but they all mean one thing: haunted by loneliness, longing and nostalgia.  Ever since M has disaappeared, i search for him everywhere. A glimpse, a passing thought  and a random forgotten memory is all that carry me through the day. It feels so hollow to sit and fake smiles. Is there even any reason to smile?

Akemi in cosmic love- A conceptual art by me

Been listening to a lot of Indie music nowadays. Flo and her crew have been pretty much blaring in my ears every single minute. This one is my favourite..

Sayonara 

*___*

Nightmare

Everybody's got to dream, young girl. If you don't, ya go.
-Dr. King, 'Nightmare on elm street'

Calvin & Hobbes: Life's disappointments are
harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

Grass is always greener when dry .

Whiskey and cigarette stub lily: Drown in a cold vat of
whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Flower clip & cigarette stub lilly on my friend's hair: I perhaps
 owe having become a painter to flowers

Office clown/ Party starter: Beer is proof that God loves us
 and wants us to be happy.

  

My morning-after blues and the chipped
tooth that holds so many memories.

Sayonara

*__*

Hanging round the mistletoe, hoping a kiss

The only blind person at Christmas-time is he who has not have Christmas in his heart.
- Hellen Keller


So the winters are here. Not as chilly as i would like them to be.. the namesake winters of this place.
Christmas will be here soon and even though i am a Buddhist, i pretty much like this wintry festival. i am done with the gift-shopping and can now just sit back and mull, compare my gifts with everything that catches my fancy and wonder if i should go and exchange.

The weird thing is that i won't be home for Christmas and neither will my gifts.

A conceptual art photograph i clicked

My plans for Christmas are:

PLAN A: Wear my best clothes. Build myself a comfy, warm fort out of the cardboard cartons. Sit inside and play Adam Lambert, Britney Spears and Lady Gaga loudly. Go into pop-whore mode. Eat jelly and apples. Cry. Drink warm chocolate. Write letters to everyone, which i will never post, ever. Eat more jelly. Drink condensed milk and eat more apples. Practice making bitchfaces. (courtesy Rookie) Sleep

PLAN B: Wear my semi-best clothes. Drink, fake-laugh, drink more, smoke, fake happy. Eat cold meat. Return home feeling like shit and hungover.

Tough call but yea somehow i shall manage to make my mind. i think i am the only girl who manages to cross my credit card limit before i can even pay the previous one. Anyhow i am stocking up my larder for my PLAN A. But i am also assuming it will need to be restocked long before the D-day arrives.

Anyone wanna join? either of the plans? Anyone?

Fine, heartless beasts. Have a happy Christmas <3

Sayonara

*___*

Writing happy?

I don't want to say i am so sick, tired and stressed even though i am, i want to write happy.
 If my absence from Blogger was missed, gomenasai, it is because -

• My office lists Blogger under 'ADULT CONTENT' and it does not matter that i am actually an adult (is it my face?)
• When i went to the techie geeks, i fell from the chair they offered me, landed on my bum, stuttered incoherently and ran away completely forgetting my Blogger woes.
• i had a bad online shopping experience and since i am the kinds who slips into depression even when clothes get soiled, needless to say i was heartbroken this time. 

Anyway so till the time i am able to forget my trauma, i will not be able to blog regularly (like anyone gives a damn right?). I have not been able to do an outfit post either owing to a nagging illness.

I feel so dastardly unlucky nein?

Well well...let's write happy shall we?

I have been reading a lot of Shoujo manga and was thrown off my guard with the smut when i read Yokujo Climax, though the art was excellent. Genshiken made me feel happy and even i want to join an otaku club. My favourite is Madarame Kun. I am currently reading Taranta Ranta, its just the typical shoujo stuff. But my most memorable was Koko debut, so kawaii <3

Oh and i have found a really good friend. She is so calm and religious, i just want to be like her *__* She makes me feel like she is not only with me because of my sickness like others but pampers me and chides me too. 

Appetite gone. Akemi is no more a baby blimp. Doki doki *__* Feel like Kate Moss hehe... Think that moment of wearing just a camisole and an overcoat has arrived, will i look as fey as Ms. Moss? Picture post coming up when i have a little more energy.  

A necklace i bought for my mom.

Sayonara

*__*LE
  

"Having Guts" means having grace under pressure

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults. 


When i was very little (not height wise because that i still am : | ) i had always wanted to go to a 'Finishing School,' having read about it in one of my silly romantic comics. Since then i have been obsessively searching for the elusive graceful ness in myself. Though the effort was abandoned momentarily during my Senior school days, i have resumed my search again.
i keep fantasising about having a classy, romantic high tea with my swain (LOL) with white lace tablecloths and  cream brocade table mats and daintily eating baby blue colored cupcakes *Sigh*
Anyway back to reality, the epitome of grace is, for me, a ballet dance. Everything about a ballerina is just so...so PERFECT.
Ballerinas have long been my icons much before 'Black Swan.' So, i am very pleased with the current raging hairstyle trend...you guessed it...BALLERINA BUN!
Though somehow i could never pursue ballet lessons, i can for sure ape the hair. Not to mention if my ballet dream was fulfilled, i probably would have been the fattest ballerina in the world.

Fattest ballerina doodle aka Akemi

Nevertheless, a little bit of mousse and a cute hair clip is all it takes. The makeup has to be dewy,  really natural looking (YES we DO NEED makeup for the 'natural look'), just a little lip stain and blush.  So here is my attempt at the look. A little messy courtesy the hair that just don't grow long soon enough : /

Sayonara

*___*

DIY: Ripped sneakers

Indian summer sun is harsh...very. And as much as i want to wear my flip-flops and other airy, open-toed sandals, i cannot because of a ugly 'V' shaped tanning on my feet. Its too hot and humid to wear sneakers.
So the perfect solution? Is DIY time *__*

Ripped sneakers




  

You will need:

• A pair of shoes (i have used my hi-top keds, ankle length would do fine too)
• A pair of sharp scissor
• A knife (Caution: My knife is really old and rusted, please use a unrusted one. Me, i like to live life on the edge, lol jk, i couldn't find any other knife : / )

 It is really simple, all you have to do is rip your sneaker horizontally or vertically  with a knife wherever you want. I have made horizontal ripped pattern near the ankle all the way to the end. To define the rips, use the scissor to make the gashes more noticeable and broader.

Result:

Sayonara

*__*

Naah! Just a pink Grinch

A series of unfortunate events can perhaps, explain my prolonged absence from Blogger. The epic one being- i miraculously turned allergic to my trusted eye make-up brand (that i have been using for the past 3 years) and adding to that i had to find a new place to shack looking like THAT. Super-adding to that, i was supposed to write an article for an online fashion magazine.

Though when i first saw my  swollen face in the mirror, my first thoughts were if  wearing pastels to office could somehow subdue the redness of my face? The doc soon put my fashion queries to  rest and told me that i looked too unfortunate to venture out in open spaces. Don't believe me? Check out the pictures posted below.  Though i am happy because i got to wear my super awesomely huge  Charles& Keith sunglasses, which i had bought from Lazymanxcat's online blog-shop.  
So, i was confined to my little room, suffocated and self-piteous.

And the darn itching! It is impossible to be just hanging out at home, jobless and NOT itch your eyes out. Talking to M was no use. Neither did i get any sympathy nor any suggestions, he just grunted that it had long been his opinion that i should stop using my eye 'thingys' everytime i went out. May be he jinxed my eyeliner....hmmm....

Anyway the entire day i was roaming inside my room, trying out my latest online shopped couture loot and thinking about imaginary parties, movie dates and dinners where i can wear them. And the killer part is- i could'nt even take any pictures with two horns sprouting from my eyes. *Sigh*


Somehow managed to complete my bounden duty and produced a review of Grey lipstick for Fveda.com, which you can check out here. 
With my Grinch days behind me i am geared up to find the perfect eye makeup for myself. So difficult :'( 

Sayonara *__*